Winnie the Pooh and the Hundred Acre Screw
by Weegee1
Summary: Tragedy strikes young Christopher's life turning his heart of gold to one of steel. What happened? What will happen? Read and find out. Lemons, Love, and Tragedy abound. Male Adult Christopher Robin x Female Harem
1. Chapter 1

Hello Humans Weegee1 here with a new story. Based on the title you can safely assume that this story has smut in it (honestly it's mostly smut with a plot). This story is being written due to losing a bet with my cousin the entail of the bet was if I won my cousin would give me his old Gamecube if I lost I would have to write a Winnie the Pooh story or a Teletuby story (sadly he didn't set parameters for this story so now I can crush the childhood joy of thousands MWAHAHA). I received a review in my first story that my formatting makes it hard to read for Dyslexics as well as other people with reading problems, for that I am sorry however due to being without wheels for a fair bit of time I have to use my computer from 1982 (dial up speed at best is 36 Kbps more often its 15.3 Kbps or lower so fan fiction gives me an error code that doesn't let me see how my words are formatting) for that I am sorry I used to use my cousins high speed internet at his house when I could travel to his house (or email him my work to be updated. It also doesn't help that my sentences can be up to 20-30 words long. Now without further ado let's begin (hopefully it will be better this time).

A lot has happened since Christopher Robin was a child, at 21 he was enrolled in his second year of college he wasn't completely sure what to go into as he was currently divided between being an animal behaviorist or a veterinarian. He visited the One Hundred Acre Wood whenever college was on break as it kept his mind off of the losses that time's cruel hand had dealt to him. (Flash back to Christopher's 14th birthday it was a wonderful day in which nothing could go wrong, or so he thought. He proceeded to get up early to visit his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood before he would go out to eat dinner at one of his favorite restaurants, the Pizza Palace.

Upon entering the woods an orange and black blur knocked him off his feet revealing itself to be Tigger going absolutely insane with excitement "Happy Birthday buddy boy! Are ya ready for some fun? Hoo Hoo Hoo!" before Christopher could say I, yes, or no Tigger had grabbed the young teen by the arm and bounded off to where the other Hundred Acre Woodians were waiting. There in the middle of a clearing were all of Christopher's friends Rabbit and Gopher were arguing over who planted things better (even though Gopher's idea of planting something involved digging a 10 foot deep hole dropping a seed in and not covering it up), Pooh and Piglet were sitting at the table talking (and in Pooh's case gorging on honey…as usual), and in the corner Owl and Tessie were talking about flying while Kanga and Roo were busy trying to cheer up Eeyore enough to join the others at the table.

Upon Christopher and Tigger's arrival everyone stopped their conversations (as well their eating) before everyone started singing happy birthday to the young man. After the singing was done everyone sat down to watch Christopher open his presents. From Kessie and Rabbit was an orange and black scarf with little tassels on the end, Tigger gave Christopher a pair of aviator's goggle (for when they go bouncing through the Hundred Acre Wood together), he received a yellow knit hat from Kanga and Roo, gifted to him from Eeyore and Owl was a poetry book, and finally from Pooh and Piglet he received a jar of honey. After the opening of the gifts everyone sat down to eat some carrot cake (after Christopher made his wish of course) before blowing out the candle Christopher said "I would like everyone to make a wish with me when I blow the candle out.". Nearly everyone wished for the same thing (I wish Christopher will have a happy life) Kanga (God I wish I had an actual man that was bigger than my 12 inch toy at home) Christopher (I wish I had a girlfriend) after the wishes were made the candle was blown out and everyone had cake. It was time for Christopher to go home and go out to dinner with his parents, with an emotional goodbye the young boy left the Hundred Acre Wood.

Upon returning home Christopher had the feeling someone was watching him but the thoughts of going out to eat with his parents made him shake the feeling off quickly. When Christopher and his parents left to go to the Pizza Palace a creature best described as unnatural stepped out of an impossibly small shadow cast by a chair leg. The entity stood tall, between 6 feet and 7 feet in height even hunched over, with long sweeping black horns that curled forwards before going upwards adding yet another foot to its impressive frame, finishing the mysterious look the creature's entire body was shrouded by long tattered brown monks robes concealing everything other than the ears, horns, and three red eyes peering out from the hood. The creature began its investigation of the house that it was called forth in it walked with purpose making a slight click clack of hooves on flooring with each step until it found its target, Christopher's bedroom. It extended its right hand from the long brown sleeve revealing an arm covered in fine black hair ending in a hand with fingers tipped with talons. It gently almost lovingly ran the hairless palm of its hand up from the foot all the way to the head of Christopher's bed before picking up his pillow with a blank expression. It extended its left arm from the sleeve that was concealing it from view exposing an arm covered shiny green scales that ended in a webbed hand that lacked fingernails to the air. The bizarre amalgam reached up and removed its hood revealing a remarkably feminine face surrounded by a smooth curtain of red hair, with a small nose, plush cherry lips, a pair of red reptilian eyes, a red human like Ajna eye (third eye of enlightenment), a pair of curled ebon horns curled forth, and the final features were her four white goat like ears. The creature lifted the pillow to its nose before inhaling Christopher's scent "A little to late then. Hopefully his wonderful heart of gold doesn't turn to steel from what comes next." with that thought she hauls her bulk onto the young boys bed before she closes her normal eyes and meditates.

With all the food young Christopher had eaten he was beginning to get drowsy on his long ride home when suddenly a loud horn started sounding near him waking him up (end flash back). That single day that was supposed to be so wonderful, an unforgettable occasion, after all as his dad once said "you're only young once and you're never old twice Christopher" oh how he missed his parents in a single minute of that day his parents little blue car was hit by a semi throwing his father clean through the windshield and into a tree a fate that could have been avoided if not for the fact that his father took off his seatbelt to adjust it due to the belt getting caught on his neck tie. His mother's head impacted the dash due to a seatbelt failure found to be common in the model of vehicle they were driving. She was in a coma for three months before passing away leaving him orphaned and alone until the day he turned 21 and inherited his old home. As for Christopher he was found without a scratch the only thing that was different about his condition was an image that appeared in his mind whenever he closed his eyes, it was strange for sure but comforting. Now 21 and at the threshold of his old home he closed his eyes to see it again there in the hazy sanctuary behind his eyelids he saw it a pair of dove wings with colors that would make a peacock jealous attached to a long spade tipped tail, there, there was his angel the one thing that kept him sane and helped him sleep at night. With a deep breath in Christopher simply whispered out "I'm finally home."

To Be Continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello humans Weegee1 here with a new chapter of the Hundred Acre Screw. I hope that yo0u liked the introduction chapter and that it got your attention (in a positive way). Now to answer some questions. 1) Yes this will be a harem fic consisting of an all female hundred acre wood cast (including a few O.C.s) X Christopher Robin. 2) Yes you read correctly Christopher Robin's parents are deceased. 3) Telling who the mysterious female figure is would break the story (in my opinion anyway).Now onto the story.

The first thing Christopher noticed was a surprising lack of dust in a house that had been abandoned for so long. "Well at least dusting is off of the to do list." the young man muttered as he continued walking around the house very much unaware of the eyes following him from the shadows of the room. "He's home he's home he'shomehe'shomehe'shomehe'shome!" a speeding blur said to itself as it bounded through the house, out the door, and disappeared into the woods behind the house. So excited this blur was that it didn't notice several things such as the fact that it left the house door open, the clear wet trail following the blur everywhere that it went ,or the fact that it was looking back instead of forward and was about to impact with the impromptu leader of the Hundred Acre Wood.

The blur was grabbed by the scruff of its neck and picked up by a black fur covered arm before setting the blur back on its feet. "Now, now Tigger did I not tell you to take life slow enough to enjoy your surroundings?" a regal, haunting voice sounded out "Ye Yes Lady Miriam." Tigger stuttered out. "How many bees were buzzing around the lilies near the garden?" Miriam inquired "Fif fifteen ma'am." Tigger nervously replied. With a smile tugging on her lips Miriam said "Very well Tigger tell me what happened and work on that stutter Christopher will come home soon so there's no need to worry." Tigger's eyes widened as she suddenly remembered why she was moving so fast before she started bouncing in place "He's home! I saw him! He become so handsome and cute and hot and". Tigger was promptly interrupted by a wry chuckle "So that's why you left a trail the whole way here?". Turning around the young feline promptly flushed red, it seemed that her "excitement" made a trail from Christopher's house all the way to the steadily growing puddle where she was standing. She started bouncing in place before babbling "Let's go get everyone else and see Christopher!".

Shaking her head with a smile Miriam stood to her full 8 feet 3 inches before two large angelic wings with every color of the rainbow decorating them spread from her back and a long fuzzy spade tipped tail extended from beneath her bland monks robes. She took a step forward, grabbed Tigger, and promptly took to the air with a gracefulness that few natural creatures could attempt to replicate. After a little over half an hour of flight Miriam and Tigger were positioned over a clearing where the other denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood sat happily around a table eating food. Upon Miriam and Tigger landing they both went to their chairs at the table and sat down, ringing her glass Miriam waited for everyone to focus on her before speaking "It seems everyone's wishes have finally been granted, Christopher has finally returned home." With that single statement the calm around the table exploded into an uncontrollable cacophony of noise.

To Be Continued…

I'm sorry for the slow update and short chapter but certain life problems have cropped up, namely 2 funerals in the family. But I plan on continuing to write however updates will be slow so to counter that I will putting a character description up later on today.


	3. Character profiles

Patricia: Shyest denizen of the Hundred Acre Woods

Species: Pig

Eyes: Hazel

Height 4 feet 3 inches

Cup: B

Waist: 28 inches

Hips: 44 inches

Personality: Shy, Easily Frightened, Affectionate .

Patricia is a quick thinking individual who has a great repertoire of knowledge and skills making her irreplaceable as long as she can remain calm. Due to her poor eyesight and sensitive ears she is easily scared the only individuals known to be able to consistently calm her down are Winifred and Miriam.

Gabriel: Proud leader (and only member) of the burrowing society

Species: Gopher

Eyes: Black

Height: 4 feet 1 inch

Weight: 132 pounds

Cup: D

Waist: 35 inches

Hips: 39 inches

Personality: Standoffish, Angry, Secretive.

Gabriel is an easily angered individual who claims to love being isolated from others in her underground den. When Christopher would explore the woods she was far more outgoing and boisterous, only Miriam knows which persona is the true Gabriel.

Roxanne: Perfectionist, Gardener, Home keeper, etc. (OCD)

Species; Rabbit

Eyes: Green

Height: 5 feet 4 inches

Weight: 150 pounds

Cup: D

Waist: 32 inches

Hips: 55 inches

Personality: Work oriented, Critical, Quirky.

Roxanne is hyperactive in the extreme cleaning anything and everything in her vicinity getting easily flustered when things do not happen according to her plans.

Kendra: The motherly caretaker of the Hundred Acre Woods

Species: Kangaroo

Eyes: Blue

Height: 5 feet 9 inches

Weight: 154 pounds

Cup: J

Waist: 42 inches

Hips 79 inches

Personality: Caring, Curious Motherly

Kendra is the mother hen of the woods respected above all others except for Miriam. She enjoys making up play dates and other activities for the younger denizens of the woods. Her daughter Ruth and Tigger are the only ones with the seemingly supernatural power to avoid her near omnipotent capability to notice things.

Ruth: The baby of the Hundred Acre Woods

Species: Kangaroo

Eyes: Blue

Height: 4 feet 7 inches

Weight: 112 pounds

Cup: B

Waist: 35 inches

Hips: 57 inches

Personality: Happy, Energetic, Understanding

Ruth is the living heart of the woods able to bring even Roxanne and Gabriel out of their isolation to partake in the festivities. She is best friends with Patricia, Tigger and Kessie a group known for pulling pranks on depressed individuals to bring their "victims" out of their depression.

Tigger: the "bounciest Tiggerific" gal in the Hundred Acre Woods

Species: Tiger

Eyes: Yellow

Height: 5 feet 8 inches

Weight: 130 pounds

Cup: C

Waist: 37 inches

Hips: 49 inches

Personality: Excessive Energy, Cheerful, Pranking Personality

Tigger is the unstoppable force of fun in the Hundred Acre Woods pranking anyone and everyone whenever, wherever, and however she can. Her friendship with Winifred and Patricia is odd while she's energetic Winifred is lazy and where she is certain of herself Patricia is nearly always uncertain.

Olivia: The dyslexic poet

Species: Owl

Eyes: Orange

Height: 5 feet 11 inches

Weight: 110 pounds

Cup: F

Waist: 33 inches

Hips: 60 inches

Personality: Deep thinking, Knowledge seeking, Happy to teach

Olivia is a seeker of knowledge and materials that can be used to teach others. She stores any books, tomes, or scrolls that she finds in the tree she dwells in. Her favorite student is Kessie due to the fact that she pays attention to the lessons that Olivia teaches.

Kessie: The little bird that has seen everything

Species: Blue Bird

Eyes: Brown

Height: 4 feet 8 inches

Weight: 69 pounds

Cup: A

Waist: 21 inches

Hips 41 inches

Personality: Excitable, Interested in Learning, and teaching

Kessie is the only individual younger than Ruth in the entirety of the Hundred Acre Woods despite that fact she is also the most learned individual in the woods other than Miriam. She greatly enjoys learning new things and teaching to others.

Winifred: "Hmm Hmm Honey"

Species: Bear

Eyes: light blue

Height: 6 feet 3 inches

Weight: 179 pounds

Cup: F

Waist: 44 inches

Hips: 69 inches

Personality: Friendly, Lethargic, Cunning

Winifred is the most well known individual in the Hundred Acre Woods. She's known for being friendly and lazy in equal measure, most think she's unintelligent due to her lax attitude but that couldn't be farther from the truth. She has a near impossible sense of when someone is lying or manipulating someone else at which point she becomes scarily alert.

Eeyore: "oh well came in third again"

Species: Donkey

Eyes: Purple

Height: 5 feet 1 inch

Weight: 173 pounds

Cup: I

Waist: 35 inches

Hips 72 inches

Personality: Depressed, Doubtful, Apathetic

Eeyore is without a doubt the most depressed and depressing individual in the Hundred Acre Woods apathetic and self doubting in the extreme, it is said that she shows a great deal of energy and joy whenever Christopher is mentioned.

Miriam: the eldritch queen of the Hundred Acre Woods

Species: Genie

Eyes: Third eye Red human shaped, normally placed eyes Red slit like a snake's

Height: 8 feet 3 inches

Weight: 319 pounds

Cup: P

Waist: 46 inches

Hips: 94 inches

Personality: Understanding, Deep thinking. Protective

Miriam is the life force of the Hundred Acre Woods, the entity that grants all things in the Hundred Acre Woods life. She was called into this sphere of existence by the raw desire for friendship by Christopher. After sensing Christopher becoming an adult the denizens of the Woods become adult in appearance as well as becoming completely corporeal due to a boost in Christopher's will to live.

Christopher Robin

Species: Human

Height: 5 feet 11 inches

Weight: 165 pounds

Personality: Cautious, Curious, Defensive

Christopher is the owner of the Hundred Acre Woods and the property that rests on its border. An orphan who has worked several different jobs through his life no one knows much of his past due to his secretive nature.


	4. Christopher!

Hello humans it's Weegee1 again. Sorry for the rather insultingly long wait all the Corona virus crap as well as college took my schedule and turned it upside down. I will try to do better in the future. Right now I am working on two stories, this one as well as a Fallout crossover introductory story called Fallout Divisions which covers the entire series with twists pulling away from the main storyline with my perceptions added in. There will also be some potential triggers in this chapter marked by the word Warning being repeated for two lines above it and two lines of Safe repeated below it. Once again thank you all for being so patient with me especially you CrisisBorn you have favorited and followed this story from the beginning thank you. I don't own Winnie the Pooh or Fallout now let's commence with the story.

A hubbub, a yapping, a babble, and hundreds of other words for just as many noises erupted forth from around the table one may wonder what caused this uproar to start what made this chaos manifest so? The answer to that could be summarized in a single word "Christopher!". Unaware of the forest frenzy occuring a scant dozen meters or so into the tree line a young man began unpacking in ernest, plugging in an old boombox that was once his father's. Christopher fiddled with the music makers knob, selected a random station, and began the arduous process of unboxing. Starting with pictures and other memorials that paid homage to a past filled with love and laughter that he placed tenderly onto a couch he began picking spots on the wall where they would go. A picture of his first day at kindergarten hung up in the dining room, a picture of him eating ice cream to fast and getting brain freeze hung up in the kitchen, and so on and so on. It continued on for hours with pictures, appliances, furniture, and brick a bracks where unpacked until the last picture was returned to the light and a pain in his chest formed, the hollow crushing feeling of failure dug into him like a starving parasite. In that picture was something most would find rather unremarkable it was a young Christopher sitting on a plain blue couch, his parents stood behind him, their hands on his shoulders, smiles on their faces, and a menagerie of stuffed toys surrounded him, a pudgy bear with a red shirt sat on his right with a piglet in its lap, an owl perched comfortably on his head, a tiger leaned on his left side, a gopher poked its head out from the seat cushions on the far right while a donkey sat in the far left corner of the couch, a pair of kangaroos were looking at the donkey with the kangaroo closer to the donkey being bigger than the other, a rabbit seemed to be glaring down at the gopher in disappoint, and to top it all of was the small bluebird in his hands.

In the bottom right corner his angels symbol lay happy and contented like a cat that got the cream, Christopher smiled and rubbed a thumb over it he added it to the only part of the picture that didn't have anything in it.

Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning

Flashback to a time best forgotten

His former psychiatrist said the symbol was something that his brain created in order to cope with the stress of losing his family. Stress, heh the pompous quack spoke as if he knew what stress was much less despair, horror, and emptiness was. Spoke as if he ever though about swinging from a tree by the neck, ever desired the sweet taste of lead delivered by the bark of a six eyed dog, or yearned for the thirst quenching elixir of household cleaners. But every time he tried he would black out and wake up exactly 17 minutes after his attempt to reach nirvana no worse for the attempt other than a sense of sorrow. After a while Christopher began making a sort of game out of his attempts stretching, poisonings, drownings, burnings, electrocutions, decapitations, he did them all and more each time feeling that same sense of sorrow which he knew wasn't his own but seeing the image of his angel made it worth all the effort. Over time he felt the sense of sorrow become a sense of worry and then it became annoyance but he didn't care as long as he saw his angel, as long as he felt her warmth. He knew his angel was female he saw her, once. It was day thirteen or was it fourteen of his attempts that he decided to "spice thing up" with his daily ritual of dying he decided to do something entirely different. Bringing out a crossbow he anchored it onto a wall, tied a string to the trigger, loaded an arrow into place, sat in a chair, spread his legs, and yanked the string. Three things happened in that moment the arrow that was less than a millimeter away from annihilating Christopher's balls was reduced to ash and impacted with impotent effects upon the front of his pants, all the shadows in the room seemed to melt before coalescing into a large puddle in the center of the plain room he was in, to finish it all off a sense of apprehension and anger overwhelmed the young man. He knew it wasn't his own and that made it all the more terrible, did he push his angel to much, will she abandon him like everything else in his life? As if hearing his thoughts a rich feminine voice sounded out from nowhere yet everywhere at once. "No one abandoned you my darling Christopher. What pains have you been inflicted with due to my inaction?"

While Christopher was apathetic to most things he was fairly gifted at telling how someone felt just from the tone of their voice before he could inquire as to why the voice was sad or why they felt responsible for his actions a small butterfly emerged from the darkness with rainbow colored wings like a dove's and a long tail ending in a heart shaped spade. With wide eyes and gaping mouth he attempted to speak, but before a single syllable could be uttered the butterfly landed on his forehead and a barrage of memories that weren't his own hit him, memories of a pond surrounded by fantastical creatures that combined human and animal characteristics into a singular form of trouser tightening perfection. Such beautiful beings should be impossible, especially in this hellish world "Now now my darling Christopher decide on one way for your thought process are we perfection in your eyes or is the world hellish?" Suprised at the fact that his angel could read his every thought, for what else could show him these peaks of feminine beauty but his angel? He decided to be silent and watch. The pond showed his every action in life from the joyful to the sad, the hopeful to the voids of his despair, as well as a few "embarrassing" moments the one thing he noticed was the fact that whenever he was about to commit suicide the pond would turn black and his image would fade. "Did you know that after your fifth attempt Eeyore realized that you were trying to kill yourself? After the seventh time she decided to hang herself. It took me two years to stabilize her emotions enough for the rest of our family to be able to do something other than watch her so she wouldn't try and imitate your foolish behavior." Christopher began feeling guilt at that statement even with her neutral tone and the comforting feeling of her hand on his right shoulder.

Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe Safe

Wait hand! Before he could turn to look at her he felt a a smooth scale covered hand grip his chin to prevent him from doing anything other than remain looking forward at the images before him "Not just yet my darling you will only see all of this at the right time." He could imagine her gesturing to her body after she said that. Faster and faster the memories flew by before stopping on a rather particular one that he waved off as a teens fevered dream. There a sixteen year old Christopher laid sleeping on his bed, it was the heat of the summer and his covers were tossed all around revealing a streamline body from years of climbing and running as well as another problem. Before he could comment on his state of exposure he noticed a shadow shift in the corner from the shadows a blue skinned being that blended the features of a human and a donkey stepped out shivering with apprehension. "Are you sure I need to do this Lady Miriam? Shouldn't Winifred or Kendra be doing this? We both know I'm only going to screw this up." The voice would come off as depressed or even bored if it wasn't cracking ever so slightly from fear. "Oh Eeyore sweetie, you'll never know until you try. Now get up there." With uncertainty Eeyore stepped out of the shadows exposing herself entirely to the light. All Christopher could think was shortstack, the blue furred little lady was a little over five feet tall with immense breasts that hid her entire upper torso with monstrous hips to counter the weight. When she turned around to look back at the shadows for encouraging her greatest "ass" set was exposed, a fantastic ass with cleavage that would accurately be described as mountainous in proportion. While distracted by the unearthly jiggling of her curves Eeyore must have gotten the go ahead that she needed to continue on her journey to his bed. Taking a deep breath Eeyore put one shaking hand on his bed at a time before pulling herself the rest of the way up. A groaning protest of springs caused her eyes to comically widen and her movements to stop. She must weigh a fair bit Christopher thought, responding to his unsaid statement his angel said "never comment on a lady's weight Christopher it might upset them. However she does weigh a bit more than you." "What are you?" Christopher asked "My darling, my love, my heart I am simply Miriam. Nothing more and nothing less." the now named Miriam replied as if that simple statement explained everything. While the statement didn't answer his question, in fact it raised more questions than it answered it at least settled the fact that his angel, Miriam he corrected cares for him, perhaps even... "Yes I do love you." Miriam interrupted his thinking. "Now look." He looked and nearly passed out, on the bed Eeyore had fished his cock out from under the covers and was currently in a classic 69 position with his shlong between her breasts with her tongue doing a constant pirouette on his head. She was fairly nervous and apathetic towards her job until the first drop of pre hit her tongue, it was like an instant 180 in personality, her eyes widened and her pupils turned into pinpricks. Eeyore sucked in a deep breath removed the rest of his sheets revealing his muskmellon sized balls to the air before deepthroating him like her life depended on it. Glurks Gluks and other noises rang out in the darkness as the shortstack sucked all sixteen inches of him off licking the head when she was at the top and burying her muzzle in his pelvis at the bottom. From the side Christopher could see Eeyore's throat bulge out as well as a steady drip of cunny honey splash onto his past self's face, she looked like she practiced a lot. "Believe it or not that was her first time doing that." Miriam replied to his thoughts yet again. Looking up he saw the final straw on his sleeping selves control break, with a warbling moan his past self wrapped his arms around Eeyore's ass pulling himself face firstinto her quim. Time seemed to freeze until Eeyore swallows nervously stimulating Christopher into orgasming with his cum containers visibly pulling up causing a gulf ball thick stream to course down Eeyore's throat. The taste set Eeyore's own orgasm off in the form of a burst of sticky, sweet, savory cunny honey. Thirty seconds into Christopher's orgasm Eeyore pushed her thumbs into Christopher's urethra slowing his semen tsunami long enough to take a few breaths before going back to enjoying her meal seemingly unaware of her growing cum paunch. After a minute Eeyore began feeling something on her stomach, reaching down she began feeling around her realizing that her stomach had grown enough that it was touching Christopher's chest, and lifting her up off the bed. That realization triggered another wave of pleasure as well as another wave of syrup to burst forth from her coating Christopher's face even more. Finally after four full minutes Christopher's balls emptied their last rope with an audible splattering into Eeyore's seemingly bottomless stomach, upon which she rolled onto her side revealing a stomach that looked like she was in her last month of pregnancy with triplets as well as thighs completely soaked with her own honey. Standing on shaky legs with a happily flickering tail Eeyore walked up to Christopher's still sleeping face before kissing him heavily on the lips "Oh Christopher how I wish you were awake for me to tell you how much I love you. I can only hope this sticks in your mind somehow." She said with a shaking voice. The memory stream ended after that. "That was the day I started liking the color blue." Miriam nodded and said "I made sure a part of the event stuck with you. After that day Eeyore stopped her attempts on her health, instead she looked forward to one special day of the month." "Wait you mean once every month she'd, you know." Christopher started saying. "Have a heavy multi gallon protein shake, blow up like a water balloon, and kiss you all the while I made sure you stayed asleep so you wouldn't fly of the handle? Yes, yes I did." Miriam pointedly answered. "Now it's time for you to wake up and read your birthday cards Christopher."

With a sharp cramp in his leg Christopher awoke. Before him was an envelope with no return address, emblazoned with Miriam's butterfly symbol. Contained within was a group of papers.

To our darling Christopher if you are reading this your father and I are dead. I can only hope that you are healthy and happy. In this collective will we bequeath to you our house and the one hundred acres of woodland that surrounds it as well as anything you may find inside.

The second paper was from his father

Hey there squirt, if your reading this then that means that I'm deader than disco, though at least I was more handsome, at least in your mom's opinion. I don't have much to give you other than some advice find a woman that loves you for you no matter how crazy or weird you think you are their will be someone who loves you look at your mom and I. Find a job you love doing and do it the best you can at it, if it's mail delivery or being a teacher, maybe even president of a nation, either way do your best.

Love dad.

The third and final letter was from his mother.

Oh my darling Christopher how I wish I could talk to you in person. Unlike what your father will undobtably say that finding a good job and a good girlfriend to spend your life with. When we were younger your father and I liked to travel, one of our trips was to Egypt . During our trip we went into the desert to see excavation sites because it was a shared interest of ours. We journeyed for three days before a sandstorm kicked up from nowhere, for a week we stayed in a tent during that week we made you. Two young adults in a small tent I'm sure you can guess what happened. What you can't guess is what was happening outside, in the beginning neither could I. The storm wasn't natural I found that out on the fifth day I went outside, instead of a whirlwind of sand I saw an oasis with clear skies in all directions, before me was an empty throne. I simply wondered in my head where I was and who the throne belonged to and a voice responded "You are in the kingdom of my beloved." With a snap of the woman's fingers the terrain changed to a field of flowers on a hilly island, another snap and the terrain became a snow covered mountain with a fortress built into the side, with a final snap they returned to the oasis. From the shadows of the throne three red spots shone forth before going out and coming back in, it took me a full three seconds to realize that the lights were actually eyes as soon as I thought that the shadow released a throaty chuckle before a fang filled smile was exposed. I expected to die in that moment there were only two explanations for this one was I had head stroke the other was that I stumbled across one of the elemental spirits that the locals spoke of a genie I could only hope that it was not in the mood to inflict harm on me. Forming from the shadows the genie revealed herself in her entirety with legs like a goat ending in strong hooves she stood, her immense hips wider than most humans were tall were garbed in a purple semitransparent harem dancer garb, from her hips came a slim waist that complimented her hourglass form without being grotesquely thin, her breasts were equally massive hiding her upper torso completely fulfilling her image as the pinnacle of feminine beauty they were wrapped in a translucent blue shawl like garb. Her left arm was identical to a humans other that it being covered in scales and its lack of finger nails, her right arm was completely covered in fine black fur and tipped with viscous talons, and her face was perfection even with the inhuman features the three red eyes two like a snakes and one in the location that shows enlightenment, the four goat ears, even her horns complimented her features all framed by a curtain of crimson hair. Her plush lips pulled up into a smirk at the same time that a pair of rainbow colored dove wings extended from her back and a spade tip tail wound it's way down her lef leg before flicking around at her hoof. For two days we talked about her ruler and how wonderful he was to her (I later found out her name is Miriam) as well as to his other lovers when I asked where he was she smiled and pointed at my stomach. Christopher all I can say is that she will love you unconditionally you can never find a better person to be with than her.

Love Mom

Flashback ends

Christopher smiled happily at the changes he made to his life thanks to a spontanious trip to Egypt on his parents part

Well that was a little long winded but there you go the next chapter in the Hundred Acre Screw touching a little on Miriam and Christopher's past. See you all next time Weegee1


End file.
